new horizons

not so much in what i am seeing, but with whom i am travelling. Philipe and I have decided to go our separate ways - he is debating whether he can bear to continue with MrC (his sidecar - it's a bit of a love hate relationship), or just ship him back to Europe, and go 'ultralight'. (this word has been playing in our conversations of the past 1 month - 'when i go ultralight, it'll be so easy'... etc ). the thing is that with motorbike travel (and especially sidecar travel) you tend to collect so much stuff. there's always the faff packing the bikes, and along with helmets, big jackets (with rubber back/shoulder/elbow protection) and other tools, spare parts etc everything tends to get a little over the top.

but I digress. i'm winding down both the south america leg of the trip - and the entire journey. i think it would be a pity to miss seeing ecuador and colombia, so am going to hot foot it up there once I've sold all my bike gear. then by mid April, off to Nepal for 2 or so months - hopefully sneaking in enough trekking before the wet season sets in.

it's going to be a change - after 8 months traveling across South America, Europe and the USA on bikes, on foot, via couches, in houses, campgrounds, hostels and making new friends together, seeing beautiful sights and having plenty of adventures, no longer is it 'us' or 'we', but now back to being just me. it's not all been smooth sailing, and I am glad that we gave it a good try. i guess that we're just at different levels of maturity, and approach living life in different ways.

i have this theory that some people are 'older souls'. i feel as though I'm just young and green in the way I live. I'm constantly distracted with new things, i have very little ability to be self introspective, need stimulation to think and find it difficult to 'settle'. I know i'm still 'growing up', but i've met so many people in my life that are just a bit more content with who they are and how they want to embrace life and run on a more balanced, less hectic rhythm. i can name friends from growing up and through university, that were and are still like that. I don't think it's just physical age, it's somehow in our natures. Whether this is because of past lives or whatever, i don't think it matters too much to me. it's just that in this life, I feel as though I'm quite young compared to other people of my age who just seem to be older and more mature, emotionally.

Fortunately and unfortunately for myself and people I share my life with, it means that I've got myself here, but I'm still fumbling a bit to find my feet. along the way I meet people that play different roles and have different rhythms. sometimes we sync well, other times we sing then strain, and i guess i'm still experimenting with these different rhythms and trying to find what works.

like a child growing up, i need to continue maturing in my own way. i don't know if i'll grow up in the way people think I will, but i gotta be happy and content with my own journey. and perhaps then I can share my life with someone who loves my pace and style.

so for now - new horizons. lets see what happens